On the subject of rejections...

It seems like a lot of us writers want to have our work out there, and want to be published right now! So when the no. 10 comes back and we tear open the letter, the big fat "Not right for us at this time" feels like a stab in the heart.

But let's step back a minute. How long have you been writing? (no, the answer is not 1st grade). I mean seriously writing. As in daily, weekly, participating in critique groups, reading writer's blogs and books, researching similar stories, going to conferences. How committed are you to making your work better?

We can hardly expect that talent alone will drive us to the printing press. Did you become successful in your other jobs or career in a short time or did it take time to learn the craft and climb the ladder? Didn't Einstein say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration? Let's get serious people. There are a lot of talented writers. As beautiful as your mother thinks you are, there are plenty of other beautiful people, even more beautiful than you. So you've got some work to do to get out, be noticed and shine! What sets apart talented writers and published writers is the amount of work they are willing to put to the job. And that means that for every published work, there is a path a mile long of rejections or trials along the way. The difference is someone giving up and someone who keeps going no matter what.

It is natural to be disappointed when you receive a rejection. You have taken a risk and put your hard work out there for someone to see, critique, judge and.... then, reject. But this is a business, it is not a psychotherapy session. It's not about feelings, it's about product. If feelings aren't involved, we can take the rejection as nothing more than a "No" and move on to finding someway to get to the "Yes". The key is to take nothing personally.

A rejection means:
a.) Your picture book manuscript is amazing but we don't published rhyming books (need better research on the publishing house before submitting)
b.) Oops, our house just took on someone else's ms on the same subject (case of bad timing)
c.) Your idea is interesting, but just not quite up to what we are looking for (you need some jazz)
d.) Wow you really need to go back to writing class (okay, so what, I probably do)

The problem is that a lot of us jump to the D option and our self esteem crashes. But maybe the answer is A, B or C. or E, F, G (G being the bad hair day excuse). Or even if it is D , it isn't a personal statement against you. It is just good business feedback. Brush yourself off and jump in!

As you are further along in the journey, getting published and getting rejections, I would hope it gets easier. I don't know for sure since I'm not published (YET!) But I do know that after 2 years of serious writing, rejections bring me more joy than pain because I expect them and they remind me that I am a writer. And published or not, that's what I am. :-)

Now there's gonna be that inner child (we've all got one) that's going to occasionally jump out - our feelings, hopes or dreams get out there and feel trampled for a minute, hour, day. That's the time to attend to the child part of you, remind him/her that it's no biggie, and get back to being the working writer that you are. Never stop. It works if you work it!