I can't say no to my kids, so when my little girl walked by the fish game at the carnival last year, I agreed, we won the fish and I let her keep it. I went out and spent $50 on a 2.5 gallon tank and accessories. I cleaned out the filter and put it in. The next day, I washed the filter again, and didn't realize that some of the carbon leaked out, and that it is a bad thing. So I get a call at work saying the fish is dangling in the plastic plant. We bury it.
Stupid me buys a new one. A very little one. I didn't think it'd grow or that the recommended tank size is 10 gallons. Now the thing is huge, it's swimming but not much place to go. Pretty soon it will be busting out. I don't want to buy another tank. We don't have enough house for a bigger tank. My marriage won't survive another tank.
So, I'm contemplating murder. I obviously have learned the method that works. My friend tells me to have a prayer by the toilet and give it the old flush, but that seems too brutal. Just a slip of carbon... It's just a feeder fish. 12 cents. The kids have made it through our cat's death, what's one more? Get the trauma over all at once.
Conscience. It's killing me. How can I kill a living thing? What will I do with this gigantic growing goldfish? Blub Blub Blub. HELP!
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Two words: Fish tacos.
Or you could release it into the wild. Have a big ceremony and take it down to the nearest river/beach/rain-filled pothole and make a big deal of it. Most especially have your kids write the farewell speeches and signs, get them involved like it's their event.
Or put an ad on Craig's List or eBay. Maybe someone will buy the whole kit from you, tank and all, for twice what you paid. Hey, worth a shot, right?
Or you could flush the little dude. Sometimes the most obvious solution is the best solution.
Please don't flush him; he didn't ask to be where he is.
PJD's other suggestions are good: lots of fish lovers will take him if they know he's looking for a home. Some pet stores will take him too.
By the way, fish limit growth in proportion to their tanks; it's impossible for him to keep going and get too big for the tank. But it's also unfortunate that he doesn't have enough room to swim around.
Feeder fish make great trotline bait.
you could always flush goldie down the toilet and tell your children that you took him to a farm, where he'll have all the opportunity to play with other fish and will be much happier than before. at least that's what my parents did when they put down my dog.
you could also tell them he volunteered for service in iraq.
like your blog, btw. will return.
bookfraud: Your parents flushed your dog Goldie down the toilet? That's rude.
Fish tacos, trotline bait, toilet bowls... thanks for the ideas. Very tempting.... but Stephen's got the conscience and I feel guilty just harboring the thoughts. Ole Eric still has room in the tank to swim but barely. Good to know he'll stop growing. I'll probably bend and buy a 5 gallon. My boss says he'll take him to the koi pond but his fish are so big, Eric would be toast. For some reason death by carbon seems better than cannibalism.
Book Fraud, thanks for stopping by & please do come back. !
Take him back to the pet store and let them resell him. Don't flush him!
anonymous: they certainly tried to flush my dog down the toilet, but she was too involved drinking from it.
Give it to one of your patients to kill.
Bookfraud, I have a cat like that.
Chris, you have an idea here. I can think of a few that would be happy to fill in for me. Although one of my schizophrenics says he has very peaceful dreams of goldfish (says this unbeknownst to my homicidal ideation)... so maybe I shoudl give the little gupster to him.
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